I can do better.
I have a bad habit.
I am obsessed with the big moment.
I fixate on the moment when the confetti falls. This is a failure for someone who claims to do. It's not that I don't want to do the hard work. I will go to the ends of the earth to complete a task. I consider daily tasks to be small, lesser-than necessities to get to the cheese . I devalue the journey.
I made a promise to myself to maintain this blog. My intent was to share my journey as I evolved in my career. These blog posts, however, have become are the big moments so instead of producing the work, I wait for a grand moment too trigger my inspiration so I can share my story and tell everyone about the unbelievable growth I've had. Which is bullshit because a lot has happened between today and the first post on March 29th. I could've written 9 million blog posts by now and I do mean 9 million.
I've discovered new things about myself and the kind of work I want to do. One of the tasks I'm working on is becoming someone who lives in the present, thrives in the journey, and truly realizes that the big moment is only attainable.
How am I doing this?
1. Living in the present, choosing today instead of tomorrow.
I'm a daydreamer and that becomes a future-liver. I'm choosing to ask myself ; "what about right now? "
2. Allowing myself to be unsure.
If you know me, that's a big ask. I like to know what's happening all the time with everyone, at any given moment. Certainty means I'll always know the outcome. I prematurely celebrate the big moment before it arrives and tend to blow past the small moments.
3. Establish consistency.
Consistency for me has always looked like and felt like a calendar, a fully-fleshed plan. As soon as I am knocked off course, my ability to remain on course slowly vanishes.
I can do better. How does this contribute to the woman I know I can be?
It's the opportunity to invest in the day to day tasks. A doer is someone who lives for the building blocks, they truly appreciate and invest in every layer. The goal is to be so aware of the small moment that the big moments become regular moments and life becomes a constant and consistent confetti experience. Will I immediately be better at this tomorrow? No. If I do this work, will I be better? Well... I think you already know the answer.
How can you be better?